Raising Good Kids in Tough Times:

Staying Rested, Staying Healthy

Dr. Roger McIntire

Editor's note: This is the first in a series of three on the influence of family routines on child health.

Sleep researchers estimate about 25 percent of preschool children have sleep difficulties. Bad dreams, digestion troubles, and breathing disorders such as apnea account for some problems, but the majority can be helped by adjustments in family habits.

For problems at bedtime, Dr. Richard Ferber of the Boston Children's Hospital popularized "Ferberizing" in which the baby is left alone to fuss while the parent briefly reassures the child on less and less frequent visits.

The notion is that the baby will learn to fall asleep on his own if rocking, stroking, nursing and singing are not continued as bedtime entertainment. But most parents can't cover their ears or ignore their feelings when the crying is prolonged. So they wait just a little longer and then unintentionally encourage the "trained night criers" and "trained night feeders" as doctors often call them.

Dr. Kim West has developed a treatment for these night owls in which parents first sit next to the child's bed, keeping close physical contact. Then on subsequent evenings the "Mommy's chair" is moved away from the bed. Eventually Mom's chair gets to the doorway and then out of sight of the youngster. With a short explanation, "I'm going to go do dishes now," five-minute intervals are then introduced until the child falls asleep on his own. More on Dr. West's success is available on the web at www.sleeplady.com.

Many pediatricians advise this method of putting the child to bed while still awake but sleepy. Then the child's last waking memory is the bed, not their parent and not the prospect of more entertainment. Children who are rocked to sleep and then put to bed expect parents to be handy when they wake up later.

Putting a child to bed should not be used as a punishment. This usually results in too much confusion and resistance at bedtime. For the same reason, a baby's crib shouldn't be used as a daytime playpen or place of restraint while the parents do other work.

The National Sleep Foundation reports that newborns will sleep 16 to 20 hours each day. At three months 10 hours of this will be at night, on average, and five or more during the day with lots of variation. By six months the daytime nap will be shorter and 90 percent will sleep through the night (6 to 8 hours). Most five-year-olds will have dropped the daytime nap.

The child's weight is also a factor. The Foundation noted that 26 percent of overweight children have trouble sleeping (breathing disturbances, etc.) while only 10 percent of normal weight children have these problems.

Dr. McIntire is the author of Teenagers and Parents: 10 Steps to a Better Relationship and Raising Good Kids in Tough Times. For more information see Parentsuccess.com. For publications, visit the CCBS bookstore.

Dr. Roger McIntire taught child psychology and family counseling at the University of Maryland for 32 years, where he conducted research and did applied work with parents and teachers. He has published several books, for both professionals and parents, appears often on radio and television talk shows, and writes a weekly column, Raising Good Kids in Tough Times, for the Martinsburg (WV) Journal. He received the 2001 Award for Effective Presentation of Behavior Analysis in the Mass Media, from the Association for Behavior Analysis. He is a father and grandfather. You can find out more about his publications at parentsuccess.com.

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