Magical Thinking and How to Correct It

Dr. Roger McIntire

Today, many students believe they might “make it” even to enormous financial success just by luck, or by skill in sports, or by knowing the right people. It's a possibility promoted by contests on TV and in the news.

So without incentives to focus attention on the learning at hand, many students become victims of magical thinking about success, and they develop unrealistic views of how “luck” will carry them through.

We adults also become victims of magical thinking. That's why we now approve of lotteries and other gambling, but our grandparents wisely, I think, did not.

We sometimes engage in magical thinking not only about a financial windfall, but also about our students: “The ones with the 'right stuff' will always do well.” “The kids will work harder at school if parents take a harder (more punitive) line, or if the teachers would enforce more strict (more punitive) rules.”

Faced with a student's failure and rebellion, a parent is tempted to criticize and punish. But the solution is on the positive side – with incentives, praise and respect expressed in concrete ways that raise self-esteem and confidence.

Some may object that gushing with praise is the wrong solution, but the danger for most of us is not in overdoing it, but in doing it at all. Encouragement and parental support involve a commitment of time and attention.

But schools are crowded, teachers very busy and our culture is inclined to provide little compensation for the essential activities of attending school and learning.

Representatives in Congress with their large salaries, and teachers on the line with their modest ones, should pause before objecting to the notion of rewarding students. It may be the most important part of the teaching and the parenting job. Few of us work for nothing.

I know it seems like a lot of trouble and we all wish students would work just for the love of it and learn just for the love of learning, but most will not. We are a goal-oriented species with ambitions that can go astray. We need daily course corrections from positive feedback.

If a student behaves badly in school, we often say it is his fault – he is rebellious, aggressive, too distracted, or not very smart. In a recent study focused on the ways we explain children's problems in school, school psychologists listed the causes of these school problems as:

the material was not appropriate,
the teacher was not doing a good job of teaching,
the organization of the school was wrong,
the parents of the child were not supportive, or
something about the child was amiss – motivation, innate ability, or emotional disturbance.

When teachers were asked to think back about the children they had taught, they attributed 85% of the problems to number 5, the children themselves. It's partly true of course but it attributes the problem to the factor that is most unchangeable.

Attention to the daily frequent successes with encouragements and compliments produces the best long-term progress.

Dr. Roger McIntire taught child psychology and family counseling at the University of Maryland for 32 years, where he conducted research and did applied work with parents and teachers. He has published several books, for both professionals and parents, appears often on radio and television talk shows, and writes a weekly column, Raising Good Kids in Tough Times, for the Martinsburg (WV) Journal. He received the 2001 Award for Effective Presentation of Behavior Analysis in the Mass Media, from the Association for Behavior Analysis. He is a father and grandfather. You can find out more about his publications at parentsuccess.com.

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